The Art of Giving Compliments: A Non-Perfunctory Guide to Workplace Praise

At the project retrospective that day, Lao Wang had done a last-minute firefighting feature optimization. He had stayed up until 2 a.m. the night before, then showed up at the office the next morning as usual, with no visible trace of fatigue.

When it was my turn to speak, I actually wanted to praise him. The only thing that came to mind was: "Lao Wang, you were really great this time."

But as the words reached my lips, I suddenly froze. That sentence felt too empty, too much like a routine formality, even a bit fake. I was afraid it would have the same effect as saying nothing, or worse, make him think I was just going through the motions. So I swapped it for a harmless "Thanks for your hard work."

After the meeting, I kept feeling regretful. Not because Lao Wang would mind, but because I knew I had missed a chance to make someone feel seen.

A few months earlier, I had encountered another kind of awkwardness. It was a cross-departmental collaboration meeting, and an engineer from the other team had solved a tricky interface problem for us. I wanted to express my gratitude, so in front of more than twenty people I said: "This colleague has been a huge help to us; his technical skills are really strong."

After the meeting, he said to me privately: "Thanks, but the way you praised me made my boss think I hadn't been doing my job well normally, which is why this kind of ad-hoc help was needed. It caused a bit of a misunderstanding."

I was stunned. That's when I realized that not all praise leads to good outcomes. If it's not specific or precise enough, it can sometimes cause misinterpretation, or even put the other person in a difficult position.

These two scenes, one after the other—one the regret of not praising, the other the embarrassment of praising the wrong way—perfectly illustrate the two core elements of praise: sincerity is the foundation, and technique is the amplifier.

Sincerity Is the Foundation of Praise

In everyday life, complimenting people comes naturally. When a friend gets a new haircut, you say it suits them. When a family member cooks for you, you say it's delicious.

But in the workplace, sincere praise becomes scarce. People worry that praising too much will be seen as flattery, that praising the wrong thing will make them look ignorant, or that praising someone publicly will make them arrogant.

As a result, praise is either omitted or turned into clichés. "Thanks for your hard work, everyone," "Good job," "Great." When you hear these phrases often enough, they become like background music—almost no one really pays attention.

Sincere praise is not about making someone happy; it's about making it clear to the other person: I saw what you did, and I recognize its value. This sense of confirmation makes people more willing to repeat that behavior, creating a positive feedback loop within the team.

Technique Is the Amplifier of Praise

Some people say that if you genuinely want to praise someone, that's enough—why learn techniques? But sincerity is the motivation; technique is the channel that delivers it.

If you say "good job" in a vague way, even sincerity can get lost in the ambiguity, and the other person won't be able to tell what exactly you noticed. Skillful praise, on the other hand, precisely hits the details, so the other person knows right away that you were truly paying attention to what they did.

Without sincerity, technique is empty套路; without technique, sincerity is an emotion that never gets delivered.

How to Combine Sincerity and Technique

Praising specific actions is the most memorable. Instead of saying "Xiao Li worked really hard this time," say: "Xiao Li completed the test cases last night, which allowed our regression to pass on the first try today and kept the project on schedule." This kind of expression includes the specific behavior and its impact, so the other person naturally understands what they did right.

Praising results is common, but praising the process is more valuable. For example, someone who clarified the boundary conditions thoroughly when confirming requirements with a client saved the development team a lot of rework later. The methods and thinking in the process are often more transferable and more worth preserving than a single result.

The contributions of junior colleagues are easily overlooked, and they need clear positive feedback even more. They need to know what they did right and that this behavior is worth continuing.

There was a Xiao Zhang who proactively confirmed the interface format with me before the requirements review, and as a result, the integration testing passed on the first try. I said in the meeting: "Xiao Zhang's habit of confirming details in advance is very professional; this directly saved us at least a day." This praise not only made him happy but also let the whole team know that such a habit is valuable.

Many people also think that there's no need to praise things within someone's job responsibilities, because that's what they're supposed to do. But if these efforts are ignored for a long time, high standards can easily get diluted.

For example, if test case coverage reaches 95% and is delivered two days early, that not only completes the task but also reduces release risk. In such scenarios, quantifying the results and describing the impact lets the other person know that everyday work can also bring a sense of achievement.

Advanced Praise Mindset

Occasion matters. Public praise lets the team know that this behavior is worth learning and helps build a culture. Private praise reduces psychological pressure and brings the relationship closer.

Sometimes, relaying praise through a third party carries more weight. For example: "Yesterday the testing manager said that the automation script you wrote was a huge help to them." This kind of recognition is more believable because it comes from multiple sources.

You can also embed suggestions within praise, so the other person feels happy and sees room for growth. For example: "Your communication was especially smooth this time, connecting people from different departments. Next time, if you could send the meeting minutes a day earlier, it might be even better."

Sincerity and Technique Throughout

You can remember a simple formula: Sincerity is seeing and recognizing value; technique is making the other person understand, remember, and use it.

For example, to praise Lao Wang's firefighting, you could say: "Lao Wang was still optimizing the feature at 2 a.m. last night, and this morning he was the first to test on site, which ensured our on-time release. I really appreciate your sense of responsibility for delivery."

Here there is both sincerity (clearly expressing recognition) and technique (details, impact, values).

When Was the Last Time You Sincerely Praised Someone?

Praise is not empty politeness; it is an efficient management and collaboration tool. Sincerity gives it warmth; technique gives it power.

A junior will be more willing to try new things because of a sincere compliment; a senior colleague will persist because their high standards are seen; a team will become smoother and smoother as good behaviors are continuously reinforced.

Next time you want to praise someone, don't just say "not bad." Try telling them: "I saw what you did, what impact it had, and I value that impact." Perhaps that will be the most important sentence in that person's week.